Funeral Attire
There is something uniquely sad about dressing for a funeral.
The clothes carry the weight of the occasion and assessing the contents of your wardrobe, looking at rarely worn clothes and wondering if they still fit adds to the absurdity.
I have attended too many funerals and sat with too many people eating finger food and chatting too loudly about life, loss and the last funeral they met at.
It is the loneliest I have been, lost in a sea of politeness. Communities meeting outside churches because the loss was too great to be contained within belief.
There are some things that now sit as a priority in funeral attire, and I feel compelled to share them.
Firstly, whatever you wear…be comfortable. It can be a long day and often involves a tipple and food.
Secondly, wear clothes with pockets, there needs to be a port for abandoned ties and mementoes. Things that you will find later and stop time where you stand.
Thirdly, take comfortable change into shoes, shoes. The ones that will ease the aches in your heart and make your journey home easier.
Finally, it is just a day, a terrible, awful, beautiful day and nobody is looking at how you are dressed. Wear your armour pressed and brushed as if the order will balance the tilting world of grief.
I will not have a funeral.
I wish to be dispatched with efficiency and my ashes sent to a fireworks factory.
I wish to be packaged as a gift to someone I love intimately with the message written in my hand ‘set me on fire, one last time’.
I wish to light up the sky for them one last time.
I wish for that to be their last memory of me.
